Adult Friendship OstracismSunday, April 13, 2014
As a teen, sometimes when you know that your friends are unhappy with you or you're disliked by a certain group of people, your world can literally feel like it's crashing down on you. I used to think I'd outgrow this kind of feelings, but truth is, no matter how old you are these things can still affect you. The worst part is, most people will write you off as "overthinking". But deep down you just know that you can feel the distinct difference in the way this or that particular friend treats you. So, you can't exactly talk to anyone about it and walking away is not really an option as well because this person or group still means something to you and will probably always be a part of your life because of all the mutual friends you guys share.
I've read so many different experiences from women around the world online, and I myself have been in similar situations before so I really understand how disturbing it can be. I used to cry over broken friendships, or feel really hurt when I find out I was intentionally uninvited to an activity by a group of people whom I thought were my "close friends".
Here's my take on how to deal with feeling outcasted by your adult girlfriends ♥︎
You just got to accept the fact that you can't make everybody like you.
Yes it's as simple as that. Or if you've been in a long-term female clique, sometimes people end up liking you a lot less after a few years because you've both changed. Every great friendship starts out in hopes of being "friends forever"; you feel so much love for each other and you start making a list of wonderful things you guys can do together. And then sometimes, unfortunately, one's priorities in life changes. Maybe you've grown older and prefer mellow nights at home with the family instead of hanging out with your gal pals till 2am. Maybe you're starting a new career and after long hours of working all you want is some quiet time. In some high maintenance friendships, resentment for your disappearances or lack of enthusiasm for certain activities can become an issue.
I've come to realise that once resentment has seeped into a friendship, even with a lot of hard work and effort on your part it can still end up becoming a majorly disappointing one. People tend to only remember the bad parts. If somebody doesn't like you anymore even the nicest thing you do will somehow end up becoming negative. So forget trying to please everybody and just be yourself. True friends will love you for you.
If you're currently in this situation and feeling isolated or need somebody to talk to, feel free to leave a comment or drop me an email :) I'd be your friend.