Today My Heart Broke

This morning Kayla was being naughty and I spanked her on her butt when she was getting really unreasonable. It's the second time in her life that I spanked her. The first time she was so taken aback she behaved. But today she stubbornly wanted her way for a much longer period of time. 

Long story short, in the midst of all the crying and screaming she suddenly asked me for a hug with tears still streaming down her face. At that moment, my heart broke. 

Even though I was the one inflicting the most hurt unto her, at the same time there was no one else she could seek comfort from because I am the closest person to her in this world. Isn't that a very sad thing? 

Having to discipline my child is such a big challenge. I really wish I don't have to scold or spank her, but these days she's getting sooo naughty I don't know what else to do. I tried telling her nicely and explaining things to her, not working out too well heh. 

Just feeling real defeated as a mum lately sighs..